Tuesday, November 8, 2011

2012 will be a much better year!

And so the end of my IV chemo cycles is approaching, and I couldn't feel more happy and blessed that I've made it this far. Im in the hospital once again for the second half of my fifth cycle, and after this cycle is complete I will only have one left! Im sensing the year 2012 will be a much better year for me. Not that this past year wasn't full of positive learning experiences and beautiful God given memories, yet I'm looking forward to the part where I will have to spend less time in a hospital and more time rebuilding my life with the new I have gained through this endeavor. Im excited, dare I say go back to work full time! Yes, I know that must sound weird to most of you out there who are working full time jobs with long days wishing for the slim chance of an upcoming vacation or an opportunity to have at least one day off where you can do absolutely nothing...but let me tell you from experience, it can get boring. And though I have found numerous ways to keep myself occupied while I'm getting my treatments, I almost always wish I was working instead. But who knows, I might wish to be back in this place once I do start working more, we always seem to want what we don't have...
The holidays are coming up quickly, and Im excited to eat all the delicious food! This year is definitely going to be strange without my dad. I think all of my family, especially my mom, are nervous for what the days will feel like with him not present. My sisters and mom have requested we have a change from where we usually have thanksgiving at,( at my moms or sisters) to establish the change. They suggested we have it at Ivan's mom's. I'm up for the change in atmosphere, I'm just hoping we can all hold ourselves together. Just the other day after going to mass with the family we decided to go and eat at la perla tapateia. It's a Mexican food products store that also sells pre cooked dishes. This was one of my dads favorite places to get his menudo fix. As we sat there eating, my sister recalled my dads last meal there, which took place two days before he passed. "He happily had some mole and sat in this spot exactly" my sister recalled. At that moment I couldn't help but remember his laugh and memorable sayings about food. He absolutely loved food, just like me:) I miss him...sooo darn much. Things won't ever be the same without him, and that's difficult to accept at times.
I will most likely be getting out tomorrow! I can not wait! This whole being trapped in a hospital thing every other week is driving me crazy! Keep following and God bless!