Friday, February 3, 2012

I don't stop when I'm tired, I stop when I'm done!

Well, it happened. The displeasing ring from kaiser permanente sadly showed up on my phone yesterday afternoon. I mean, I knew it was coming. Last week my doctor called me to inform me that my counts as well as my liver had recovered enough for me to begin my final IV treatment. She was even so kind enough to give me the option to pick which day I preferred to be admitted the following week. I grunted in disapointment and replied "ummm I guess Thursday." I guess I wasn't lucky enough to get that late Christmas gift. But I guess it's good news afterall. I mean, it is the last (I hope)IV chemo treatment.
As I unenthusiastically packed my usual bag of clothing and belongings for my much dreaded 5 day stay at the Kaiser 3 star hotel, I couldn't help but fear the sick feeling of that poisonous bag of liquid dripping into me for the last time. I have been sticking to my marathon exercise plan, and feeling fantastic lately! I've had so much more energy and sleeping well at night. I'm scared for having to start all over again, and recuperating myself back up once again. But, "I have to get it done," I've been saying to myself. Afterall I can't stop when I'm tired, I must stop when I'm done (my friend Mena shared this quote with me the other day), and I'm certainly not done yet, so I must push through my tiredness and my feeling of giving up just as I have been while training for this marathon of mine.
With that thought, I got up this morning, ate breakfast, placed my running shoes on, headphones, and walked the crap out of this hospital. I walked and walked and walked. I felt like I was on one of my recent runs on my last lap feeling exhaustion at its fullest, yet the only thing keeping me from moving my legs is my mind and uplifting music telling me I can and will go further and finish. I must finish this last cycle, push through, stop complaining, and finish stronger than any race I've ever ran!
I have a new recent hobby development. That's right, another pastime to keep me occupied as I wait patiently for my life to restore itself back to the working full-time pattern. I'm sure most of you have heard about the clever little website called Pinterest that can suck the days out of your life. I'm a newbie to this website, and let me just say, it was made for people like me!! I mean it's pretty darn genius. Something so simple as sharing photos of just ideas via online boards has brought on an even larger desire for me to cook and make everything. Just this week alone I've cooked 4 recipes and made 2 crafts from this life changing website. I do not exagerate when I say its life changing. It has seriously changed my life. Yes, I know this may sound a little pathetic of me, but if you had the chance to try one of these delicious recipes I've discovered on here, would you change your mind?

Keep following! God Bless!

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