It's a new year, hooray!!

It's 2012, and things are already looking so much brighter!! I've been afmb(away from my blog) for quite some time, I know:( so I have lots and lots to update you all on...so brace yourself! Since my last post Ive had an additional IV treatment which took place the second week of December. I was able to manage the nausea, but the constipation (tmi, I know) is always very uncomfortable. I received the treatment over a five day period, and boasted in excitement as I only had one more treatment to go!! Every week following this treatment I went in for labs, yet either my blood counts were still too low or my liver function was still a little too high or me to start up my last treatment.
Days....weeks...one month later, and I still have not received my last treatment. I'm not complaining, yet part of me jut wants to get it done and over with already. Two days ago my doctor said to me that if my liver function was still high and not progressing back to normal as quick as she'd like that she would just cancel my last IV treatment and just have me start on the oral chemo next month. I've been anxiously waiting for her call as if I was waiting to hear about an important job interview or something. Frankly, I'm pooped with having to be in the hospital so darn much and would just love her to say that my last treatment could just be cut as a late Christmas gift/early birthday gift. So until she calls,I will just be playing the waiting game and of course praying for a pass and go;)
On a different note, holidays were certainly tough without my dad. My family and I spent thanksgiving at my mother in laws house which was a nice change. My sisters and mom were not too enthusiastic about having it at my moms, so Ivan and I took on the hostess with the mostess role lol It went well, yet it was rather quite. Christmas was also rather different. Since Ivan and I didn't get a chance to go to his family's house for thanksgiving we decided to go to his family's for Christmas eve. After all, last year we did the whole split time between two families thing, and it was rather exhausting and rushed. Christmas day we decided to all volunteer at the Modesto gospel mission, which was great! It was certainly nice to share that experience on Christmas with my family. As a family we also decided not to do a gift exchange this year, rather purchase a gift for a needy child instead. My dad was always so giving, and always gave whatever he had to others. We felt we wanted to do something different this year in his honor. I definetly felt his presence though even if he wasn't physically around.
New years eve I stayed in and cooked. Ivan and I went to a raiders game on new years day and tailgated, so Nayra (my sister in law) and I pulled pork all night for the big game. I went back to work at the after school program this past week, and these thriving attitude teenagers are already driving me nuts! But, I try my best to hang in there and teach. I've been applying for other jobs as well. I was hoping I could start going back to work full time once I hear back from my doctor about this last treatment. I haven't had any luck thus far, but I'm sure the right opportunity will come along when it's supposed to. In the meantime, Ive been keeping myself occupied with my usual hobbies. I've even started running...yes running if you can believe it or not. Back in November I started taking our dog for walks, and trying to jog just a little. I've been going just a little further every time. The first time I was barely able to walk half of a mile, and now im almost at 4 miles jogging straight without stopping!! My sister Sovia has even signed up all my sisters and I to take part in the rock and roll marathon in San Diego this June! So, I'm going to do it! I said I was going to run a marathon this year, so I'm gonna do it(well, half that is;))!! My friend Mena has been training with me, which makes it more enjoyable. We push each other through the pain and sweat. I'm so excited, and have been feeling more and more energized since I've started the training.
Also, the wig has (hopefully) officially come off! My hair has managed to grow back just a tad and not fall off with the previous treatments, so I'm trying to get used to the short boy cut. I'm rather tired of the itchy wig after all these months:( hopefully it can manage to at least stay this length through the oral chemo so I don't have to put the raggedy hair nest back on.
Well, I think that's about it. I hope you all had a wonderful and blessed holiday season and have started this new year off healthy and happy! I know I have;) Just living life more fully for today, because we never know about tomorrow!
Keep following! God bless!

2012 will be a much better year!

And so the end of my IV chemo cycles is approaching, and I couldn't feel more happy and blessed that I've made it this far. Im in the hospital once again for the second half of my fifth cycle, and after this cycle is complete I will only have one left! Im sensing the year 2012 will be a much better year for me. Not that this past year wasn't full of positive learning experiences and beautiful God given memories, yet I'm looking forward to the part where I will have to spend less time in a hospital and more time rebuilding my life with the new I have gained through this endeavor. Im excited, dare I say it...to go back to work full time! Yes, I know that must sound weird to most of you out there who are working full time jobs with long days wishing for the slim chance of an upcoming vacation or an opportunity to have at least one day off where you can do absolutely nothing...but let me tell you from experience, it can get boring. And though I have found numerous ways to keep myself occupied while I'm getting my treatments, I almost always wish I was working instead. But who knows, I might wish to be back in this place once I do start working more, we always seem to want what we don't have...
The holidays are coming up quickly, and Im excited to eat all the delicious food! This year is definitely going to be strange without my dad. I think all of my family, especially my mom, are nervous for what the days will feel like with him not present. My sisters and mom have requested we have a change from where we usually have thanksgiving at,( at my moms or sisters) to establish the change. They suggested we have it at Ivan's mom's. I'm up for the change in atmosphere, I'm just hoping we can all hold ourselves together. Just the other day after going to mass with the family we decided to go and eat at la perla tapateia. It's a Mexican food products store that also sells pre cooked dishes. This was one of my dads favorite places to get his menudo fix. As we sat there eating, my sister recalled my dads last meal there, which took place two days before he passed. "He happily had some mole and sat in this spot exactly" my sister recalled. At that moment I couldn't help but remember his laugh and memorable sayings about food. He absolutely loved food, just like me:) I miss him...sooo darn much. Things won't ever be the same without him, and that's difficult to accept at times.
I will most likely be getting out tomorrow! I can not wait! This whole being trapped in a hospital thing every other week is driving me crazy! Keep following and God bless!

Light among darkness

I had my fourth cycle of chemo September 12-15. It was a long working week for me! On the bright side getting infused with chemo everyday for 6 hours allowed me to catch up on my reading;) I've been determined to lay off the junkie t.v. The week went well, by the time Thursday came around I was so ecstatic, I was free! It felt like i was in elementary school again on the last day of school, only in this picture the nurses were the teachers. And they weren't saying see you next year rather "see you on your next cycle!" And like any normal elementary school kid who just started their summer, I wanted the festivities to begin! That Friday a couple of my girlfriends and I had a falafel night. My friend Antonia had made them for me before, and we both thought it would be fun to make a girls night out of it. The crunchy yet moist little things are quite the challenge to make, yet so worth the explosive taste party in your mouth.
Ivan had Monday off so we decided to go on a lunch date. We attempted to feast on as many possible food items with the least amount of money. Since ive been back in Modesto I've been noticing all these new places to dine I had never noticed before. I'm a huge yelper, who likes to research new places to eat and closely looks into the reviews. I guess I am a foodie, you can call it, but not an extreme foodie who has tasted every exotic edible thing in the world. I hope to reach that point one day. Any who, I told Ivan about my aid research about some cheap bites I read about yelp that I wanted to try. He was actually excited about the idea, which is a bit sup rising since he isn't always in the "mood" to try new foods. He is far from being a foodie like me, yet I have gotten him to expand his taste pallet just a tad since we have been together. I like to take credit for the new cuisine he has tried and enjoyed:) Our Monday lunch date concluded with us eating: 1 Vietnamese saigon sandwich, 5 baby egg rolls, 2 cheesecake cupcakes, and 1 piña colada snow cone all for 10 dollars. We felt quite accomplished by our savings, never the less more by how much we indulged in. I guess Modesto has some secret food gems after all...
Its been two weeks since, and I still have not published this post. I ended up getting a fever two days later that required me to go into the emergency room. I was feeling terribly achey and shivering with chills. I assumed it was another infection, and sure enough I was right:( I was started on antibiotics right away. My fevers continued through the weekend even with receiving the antibiotics. I was beginning to worry considering last time I as stuck in the hospital with ecoli, I was able to recover within 5 days. My counts ( white blood cell) were not rising very much or at all. After 5 days my oncologist called me and explained to me that the chemo I had the previous week was a really strong dosage that was going to result in a longer time for me to recuperate from. She stated that most patients take an average of 20 days for their bodies WBC to recuperate and for infections to diminish. I was completely saddened by this news considering I hate being hospitalized. The rest of my stay dragged on. I was given a total of 2 blood transfusions and 4 platelet transfusions during my stay. This time around I also developed several mouth sores that made it difficult for me to each much due to the pain. I was stuck eating applesauce, jellos, soups, and fruit cups for most of my stay until the sores healed.
Thankfully, my body kicked in and I was surprisingly released on Saturday after 10 days of being enclosed in despair. My friend Vhantelle and her husband came to visit me as a surprise from La, which was a wonderful surprise. Although I was instructed by my doctor not to go to any public areas and stay inside, I enjoyed catching up with my friends. I felt completely exhausted on Sunday. I didn't make it out of bed much, except to eat three meals. The rest of the week was spent rather the same. Sleeping, eating, sleeping. I couldn't bring myself to do much more. The only time I left the house was to attend to blood draw appointments I had all week. My counts were still under normal level, so any time I left our room I had to be wearing a mask for my protection. I hate being in isolation and not being able to enjoy the outside world. A few nights that week I found myself crying in sadness and anger, thinking how unfair it was that I had to be trapped inside for so long. Thoughts of how badly I wished I was living my old life before I was diagnosed came flushing through my mind. Wishing things were just different." I hate these treatments!" is all I kept feeling. Just as I try and make my life a little more normal by going back to work and making myself useful, it all gets yielded by this terrible illness. It's not fair, yet I can't do anything to change it but keep going.
By the end of the week my counts finally restored back to normal. And as I celebrated by going outside finally with no mask to a movie, I couldn't help but think I would soon be back in that sad trapped place again within the next few weeks for another dreadful treatment. As much as I'm happy I'm feeling stronger with my engery back I can't help but dread the feeling of it being taking away again, leaving me to the difficult battle of getting it back. Im two chemo cycles away from starting oral chemo(which I hope will be more mangle) yet the finish line seems just so far away still. I wish I could just close my eyes and open them back up to it being all over. But I can't. I have to move forward. I know there is still much to learn from all this. God continues to reveal new things to me even through all my pain, anger, sadness and darkness. For one, that he's been present in my darkest moments, and will always lead me out to the light. I know this because as I lied in my bed in sadness this past week not wanting to write/blog out of anger and sadness I'm writing now...out of the darkness and once again in
the light. I've been lead out once again, and Im sure God will continue leading me out through not only my next 2 cycles of chemo, but until I'm completely done fighting this illness. I just know it.

Steady steady

I had chemo yesterday. The chemo I missed since I was unexpectedly hospitalized for the infection I got. I was scheduled to have chemo four days this week to start a new cycle, but it got pushed back two weeks. I'm relieved, yet part if me wanted to just get it over with. I'm itching for the end ofthe year to come, so I can just be done with all these intensive treatments. Last week I started a job as an after school program teacher. I was hired only a few days before I started and had an orientation the day before my first day. It's only three days a week for about an our and a half. It's the perfect amount for me right now, since treatments can sometimes hog up my schedule. So far the job is treating me well. I have 8th graders, which can be a pain at times, especially since it's at the end of the day. The last thing an 8th grader wants to do is go to an additional class at the end of the school day. It's going to be a challenge to find entertaining ways to teach these kids.
Other than the new job, life has been pretty steady. This past weekend my friend Sarah and I took a spontaneous trip to meet our friend Suzy in Pismo Beach. I say spontaneous because I can't really make plans ahead of time with this illness. Anything can happen, so I told the girls I wouldn't know if I could go until Friday after my appointment with my oncologist. Since everything looked good on Friday, I was given the ok! It was a rather short, yet worth wild trip. Sarah and I left Friday evening, drove four hours, ate dinner with Sue, got up had breakfast, took a stroll on the beach, had lunch, and headed back by 4. It went by incredibly fast, but it was worth the short trip to see Suzy. I miss my San Francisco roomies!
This Saturday we are having our first annual regalado family reunion! I am super excited to meet family I've never met, and see those that I have not seen a very long time. The rest of this week my sisters and I will be putting together last minute details for Saturday, so wish us luck!
I hope you all are doing well, keep following and God bless!

Here is link to story on Univision!

http://univisionsacramento.univision.com/videos/video/2011-08-17/valiente-maestra-combate-leucemia-gracias

Stay away Ecoli!!

Finding ways to keep myself occupied has become easier. I've been trying to catch up with friends and family a lot which is incredibly nice:) my oldest niece started high school this past week...yikes, I can not believe it!! In only 4 years she will be going to college, geez I was just college! As everyone is beginning to start school and classes, I can't help but think of what I would be doing to prepare for the school year as a teacher. This time last year was madness, being it was my first year in my own classroom. I was living day by day, figuring out lessons by the skin of my teeth, but it was exciting and I'm missing that feeling this time of the year.
Ivan and I even managed to have a little movie date ourselves this past week which was much needed. he has been working several 12 hour graveyard shifts, which makes it difficult for us to spend time together. My mom has also been doing better thispast week as well. She gave us all a little scare due to her high blood pressure. My sister Hilda took her to the doctor to get medication to control her blood pressure. She has been going out for two walks a day, which is fantastic! It makes me happy to see her caring for herself and doing her best to continue living as best as she can without my dad. The other Sunday we took a family visit to my dad's grave. My sister Sovia bought us all lottery scratchers to scratch. My mom was the lucky one and won a ticket! We all thought it was a sign from my dad telling her she should go to the casino!! My dad loved going to the casino, although he always lost:(
I began to feel strangely tired by the end of the week. On Saturday I went to pleasonton with my friend Alyssa to pick up her wedding dress. When I came home I felt rather tired so I took a nap. I woke up with a fever of 102, and began to think something wasn't right. My sister in law Nayra took me into the ER. Since the chemo compromises my immune system, and sign of infection can be dangerous for me. I thought the fever rooted from being in the heat, but it didn't turn out as I thought. I ended up being admitted for not only observation, but for a platelet transfusion. I was quickly started on antibiotics to help my body fight whatever infection I had. Today is Wednesday, and I am still here hospitalized, hoping to get discharged today! I turns out I caught ecoli. Which isn't good, but also not an aggressive infection to kill. It most likely came from something I ate, which is definitely going to make me even more paranoid on what I'm eating. I'm just happy the infection wasn't from my port...I was dreading having to get it removed after the pain I endured to get it placed.
Although I wasn't too happy about an unexpected hospital stay, I'm happy I will be leaving today! This illness truly just knows how to interupt my life in every aspect....grrrrr:( praise God for no complications!
P.s. I had five minutes of fame yesterday! A Spanish television network named univision ran a story on me on t.v. Last night! Every year they have a blood drive, and since I've been a recipient of my fare share of blood transfusions, they asked if they could interview me. Quite exciting!
Keep following, God Bless!!

My new found hobbies;)

Days are beginning to quickly trickle like a set of long organized dominoes that have been set off to fall. I feel as though I tapped my finger on the domino at th end as soon as I was released from my long hospital stay in baldwipark, and the days are just rapidly stacking upon one another. I just can't believe how fast 4 months have flown by, and how far I've traveled in this process to get treated. I know everyone always says, time/life goes by so fast, I can truly atest to that statement! My list of procedures I must get through continues to shrink, and that my friends makes me excited! I don't get the sense of missing my old life before I was stricken by this cancer anymore. I have made it my friend, as strange as that sounds, and have accepted it into my life. As evil as the life threatening illness is, it has taught me a great deal. Lessons about life, family, and people I wouldn't have learned from any other life encounter. It's part if my life now, it's me. I remember recalling moments in the hospital writing about the times I would feel glimses of "me" when I was not as sick, energetic, and felt...normal. I dont get those short glimses of feeling me anymore. I now feel me all the time, and only get short glimses when i remember that I'm fightig this cancer. It's incredible how much I've been blessed in being able to continue on with my life, perhaps not quite as it was prior to being diagnosed with leukemia, but just a little more interesting:)
Last week was remarkable at the art camp! I was given the opportunity to teach four classes all revolving around the theme of printmaking. It was just a fantastic feeling being up in front of a classroom teaching again! I was as if I had just placed down an important piece to the puzzle that had been missing for months. My puzzle, or should I say"life" just felt that much more closer to feeling complete. I feel so darn lucky to have found this wonderful gallery/art school that was willing to give me what I was missing. I felt so productive for these past two weeks...I was actually working!! A word I had not used in my verbal vocabulary in a long time. It felt so incredibly strange to be saying"well, I'm off to work!" haha seriously it was both weird, yet a good feeling at the same time. The only thing that was not pleasant these past two weeks was my tired feet. I didn't realize I was not used to standing so many hours anymore...ouch, that's all I have to say!
I've picked up a few new hobbies these past few weeks amongst my goal of keeping myself occupied. Cooking is one of them. I kid you not I have spent countless hours watching the food network and looking up recipes online trying to perfect new foods, which I can proudly say I have! Not all the new cuisines ive made have worked out, but a majority have! I've become a little obsessed...I've even fascinated about the idea of going to culinary school and opening up an international food truck here in Modesto. It's a crazy idea, but all the cooking challenges on these shows inspire me try all these new flavors that make the experIence rather enjoyable. Of course, I only get those feelings after I make a new dish that actually turned out well. Intermingled in between my science cooking lab in the kitchen, I've also started to bike. I have been stuck on the idea of getting a bike to help build my muscle back up, so I can eventually be able to run again. I went on a pre determined trip to wal-mart to get a bike with my lovely friend Mena. With help of my overly encouraging self, I managed to sway my darling friend to splurge on a bike as well. She had been wanting a bike as well, but I secretly also wanted a biking buddy;) It was rather easy to make an argument to purchase the bike with that thought in my mind. We both got beach cruisers, which highly resemble the bike of a seven year, in words of Ivan. He laughed at the sight of it commenting on the bright turquoise color and painted posies. I honeslty didn't care about his opinion. He had suggested I get a mountain bike, but I was convinced the bigger seat on the cruiser would be far more comfortable, which is! As Mena and I take our strolls on our vibrant childish cruisers, I can't help but think of the popular Now and Then movie. Boy do I need to find us some baskets and a radio!! Any who, I love my new bike, and am looking forward to many more rides with my biking buddy (Mena).
I started my new cycle of chemo yesterday. So far I have been feeling alright, I'm hoping things continue to run this way. Luckily, this cycle is outpatient, so I get to go home after I receive the treatment!! I'm not sure I could do another hospital stay after the past two without a break. I'm getting a second dose of the daneurubacin chemo, which is the very first treatment I received back in Baldwin park. It made me really sick the first time, so I hope it's a little better the second time around. My hair started to grow back which surprised me. I still do not have as much hair as Ivan though. Not sure if it will fall out again with this treatment, guess we will have to wait and see...sorry it took me so long to update you all! Keep following! God bless!