Monday, June 20, 2011

A little better everyday...

I have been spending a lot of time with my mom this past week. I stay the night with her most nights when Ivan is working graveyard. I feel like we are all getting a little better everyday since my dad passed, but we all can't stop missing him. Yesterday was fathers day, and it was so hard not to have my pops to celebrate with. But I knew my dad never placed a big emphasis on the holiday, so I found it silly of me to feel sad.
This past Friday was the last day of the novena, a nine day prayer we started after my dads services. So much family has been over which has been nice but also not so good some days, especially for my mom. I found her in the garage the other day just sobbing and when i asked her if she just wanted to be alone she firmly nodded her head yes. As much as it hurts me to know i have to leave her alone some days, my sisters have all said she needs time alone to cope and accept the change. She's been finding her therapy through her yard work, which is good. The scary talk of her wanting to move from the home we all grew up in isn't something we all want to hear. We feel it's just part of her coping journey. I've talked to some people who have lost a close family member or friend, and ive heard their loved ones can cope in this way. As hard as it would be to have my mom leave the house we all have so many memories in, we all know we have to support her in her decision, whatever it ends up being.
I got to visit my students this past week which was amazing. I have missed them sooo much. They didn't know I was coming, so as soon as they saw me they went bazerk! They all commented I looked different, and asked me if I got highlights, I smirked and just said yes. They don't know my diagnoses, yet they are so observant to details. They we're prompt in filling me in with everything I've missed. Of course the biggest question they had for me, was when I would be coming back. It hurt me to have to say that I didnt know. All their hugs truly made my day, I hope to see them again soon!
I start my next chemo cycle tomorrow. I don't feel as sad this time, which is good. Im going to be getting admitted this time, which means I'll have to stay hospitalized for about 3-4 days. I will be getting my Pic line removed tomorrow as well, and getting a port put in. I'm excited for this since wrapping my arm everyday I shower is such a pain, not mention the uncontrollable itchiness from the sticky stuff that keeps it protected.
Today is my hubby's b-day!! We had a celebration for him with all our friends this past Saturday and are having a little dinner today for him just with the fam. Well I'm off to celebrate with the birthday boy! Keep following and God bless!

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