And the race continues...

And the race continues! Last week my family and I had a garage sale fundraiser for our Be the Match walk taking place next week. We were able to raise a total of 250 dollars! Our goal was 500, and we surpassed it! It was such a great time having our family unite for this amazing cause. Even the little kiddos did their part by selling cupcakes and lemonade...if anyone out there is interested in donating to our team, visit bethematch.org and donate to be the match be the one run, team "kick it in the butt." The San Diego half marathon is also quickly approaching too! I've been working my tail off getting my weekly miles in so I'm ready for race day! I love to walk/run, but I do get bored at moments, so I try and change it up from time to time and attend a workout class at the gym instead...anything that gets my blood flowing and heart pumping works. Alright so I must share with you all my new hobby for this month...yes, another! Sewing! I decided to sew my friend Alyssa a clutch that matches her wedding colors that she can use for when we are all out in Hawaii. I saw something on a DIY YouTube video (another one of my new guilty pleasure hobbies)and was inspired to try it! I didn't do half bad, yet the stitching inside was a bit rusty, but no one will be looking inside I figured. I can honestly say I have never dabbed into so many new hobbies before...thanks to cancer I've had the chance to try lots of new past times;) On a separate note, I have one more week left of work at the after school program and tutoring:) yay! I get two short weeks off, and then I start teaching summer school for a month. And once summer school ends its off to Hawaii!!! Ivan and I's close friends are getting married in Maui and we are both super excited to attend! It will be an opportunity for us to finally get a honeymoon and also a time to celebrate getting through this past difficult year. We can't be more excited! Tomorrow Ivan is off, so we are taking off on a spontaneous day trip...who knows where we will end up! This is the first Friday he has been off in months since he has had classes on Fridays this whole semester. I'm sooo proud of him for getting through his first semester back at school. He did super well in his classes. I'm a proud wifey! I should get some rest for our excursion tomorrow. Just wanted to update you all a little. I'll be sure to let you all know about how the walk goes next Saturday. Until then, take care and God Bless! P.s. I've been meaning to post a picture of my new hair coming in...yikes! I've lagged. In case you all are wondering, I look just like my mom, hahaha. Not, but seriously I'll get one up soon! I'm sporting all kinds of new do's as my hair grows back!!! Suggestions??

24 never looked so good! 1 year celebration of my fight....to parrrrrty!:)

I woke up today recalling the mixed emotions I was feeling on this exact day one year ago. The crushing news that I would have to fight for my life at the age of 23. Everything I had worked for and established for myself seem to have shattered at that one moment of hearing I had been diagnosed with leukemia. Every other word that came out of my oncologist's mouth became nothing more than monotonous jaw movements. I remember Ivan repeadivley asking me "are you ok?, are you ok?" In reply all I could say was, "Are you ok??"
And after snapping out of a moment of complete shock which seemed like a lifetime, I gathered myself together and started to write this blog.
I turned to God and placed complete and ultimate trust in a plan, future, and outcome only he knew. With every corner of faith I had in me I began a fight that has thankfully brought me to this exact day today. I've made it this far, and a few days ago I celebrated by 24th birthday, which was by far the most meaningful and beautiful birthday in my life! My family planned a surprise dinner for me, which was incredibly thoughtful.
Well enough with the sentimental part, because I know I can go on and on with all the amazing life experiences I've gained this past year...yet I don't need to because they are all kindly saved in this blog:) Let's get to the present and future excitements in my life. For one, my marathon training has been progressing! About 2 weeks ago I hit 8 miles!! I tell you all, I was in complete shock. I never thought that I would ever be able to come to the point where I could regain my strength and endurance to go 8 complete miles. If you remember my posts from when I was first receiving chemo, I could barley even make it out of bed, none the less take a shower without feeling like I was about to collapse. I remember thinking to myself, "I don't think I'm ever going to regain my strength." What seemed like an impossibility, has revealed itself to be one of my biggest accomplishments. Just a few more months of training to go until race day!! I can't wait to cross that finish line!
I also have some extremely exciting news for the future. I know I mentioned that I was beginning to look for a full-time teaching position for next year and, and I was applying everywhere, yet wasn't having any luck. Well, this past week I found out about a teaching position I applied for in San Jose, and I got it!!!! It's at an immersion charter school, which was what I was teaching last year before I became sick. The school seems perfect, and I can't wait to start in August! Of course that requires Ivan and I to move, but we were preparing ourselves to do so anyway.It was quite bitter sweet news. I have gotten acostomed to being around family all the time this past year, yet I know we will be visiting often. I just feel so incredibly blessed because I know God's hands were truly in the making. I just knew he would bring the right opportunity along when I was ready, and he has! So, tha means Ivan and I have the next few months to pan out all the small details and such, but we are so happy to be putting the pieces back together.
Ivan, my sister in law and I took a weekend trip to LA a few weeks ago to visit my good ole SF roomies. We had a great time, although most of our time was spent shoving delicious food in our face...I'm surprised we even conversed much with all the time that was spent chewing and demolishing LA's fine cuisine. It was great to see the girls and catch up, especially under better circumstances. Last time I was in LA I was bedridden, so I definetly appreciated seeing them out of that context.
Other than that, I've just been working. Still teaching at the after school program, which I feel my students are actually enjoying getting a consistent teacher who shows up everyday rather than from earliear in the year when I was missing so many days due to long term hospital days and sick days. I feel every time I update I have a new hobby I've picked up. Although the one I'm about to share is not a pastime I feel very proud of. I should technically be reading more, yet I've been indulging myself in a guilty pleasure called beauty YouTube videos...which I will say no more of since I'm deeply disappointed in myself in regards to how many countless hours I've spent with my pupils glued to a screen with girls talking about beauty products.
I'm off to bed! So utterly thankful to God for all of his grace and all of you who have read or are still reading my posts. You all know you have had some part in this long fight with me. Thank you for joining me! Keep following:)

I'm done! Hip hip, hooray!

And so the second phase of my treatment ends!! Goodbye to hospital stays, with mortifying cafeteria food, smelly sheets, loud hallways, beeping machines, sleepless nights, sad white walls, long boring days, poking needles, uncomfortable beds, and last and certainly least, IV pole. You will certainly not be missed! I know we had our many many days together, yet I wish to not drag you around anymore for I hope to be a very long time.
After coming home from my last hospital stay I was challenged by sick nauseous feelings, stomach aches, and loosing my excitement for food, which is by far the worst for me. Dr. Ivan of course had me on a strict schedule which was simple, yet so difficult for me to do, relax. After getting used to all the energy burning through my body these past few weeks I wanted to do the exact opposite. But, I knew the only way I was going to recover and get back to my skipping and jumping was by taking it easy and getting some much needed rest. So I did, and managed to quickly recover within a week :) just in time for a wine tasting party Ivan and I had planned on attending with some friends, which was a fantastic way to celebrate.
I also started a new additional job this past week as a tutor. My fist session went very well. I have a small group of kids twice a week that I will be tutoring in English. Hopefully I can find a teaching job for next year within these next couple of months. The market seems rather empty though, yet I'm sure the right opportunity will come along when it's supposed to.
I started my marathon training back up this past week. It was a little challenging after taking a week off, but became easier after the second day. I'm just glad and thankful I was able to feel well enough to go back to training! I will continue keeping you all updated on how that's going.
This past Wednesday Ivan surprised me with tickets to a Warriors basketball game. I've always wanted to go to a professional basketball game, and was so excited when I found out we were going to one. He had planned it with some friends of ours and made all the arrangements without me finding out. He even ordered us shirts to wear. He is not into the whole valentines day very much, which is fine because the game was way better than any box of chocolates or plush teddy bear!
Well, I must go to bed. Its way past my bedtime, and i must get some rest for my long day of training tomorrow. It feels so great to be done with the worst part of my treatment regimen. I definetly feel that things can and will only get better from here! God bless you all and keep following.

I don't stop when I'm tired, I stop when I'm done!

Well, it happened. The displeasing ring from kaiser permanente sadly showed up on my phone yesterday afternoon. I mean, I knew it was coming. Last week my doctor called me to inform me that my counts as well as my liver had recovered enough for me to begin my final IV treatment. She was even so kind enough to give me the option to pick which day I preferred to be admitted the following week. I grunted in disapointment and replied "ummm I guess Thursday." I guess I wasn't lucky enough to get that late Christmas gift. But I guess it's good news afterall. I mean, it is the last (I hope)IV chemo treatment.
As I unenthusiastically packed my usual bag of clothing and belongings for my much dreaded 5 day stay at the Kaiser 3 star hotel, I couldn't help but fear the sick feeling of that poisonous bag of liquid dripping into me for the last time. I have been sticking to my marathon exercise plan, and feeling fantastic lately! I've had so much more energy and sleeping well at night. I'm scared for having to start all over again, and recuperating myself back up once again. But, "I have to get it done," I've been saying to myself. Afterall I can't stop when I'm tired, I must stop when I'm done (my friend Mena shared this quote with me the other day), and I'm certainly not done yet, so I must push through my tiredness and my feeling of giving up just as I have been while training for this marathon of mine.
With that thought, I got up this morning, ate breakfast, placed my running shoes on, headphones, and walked the crap out of this hospital. I walked and walked and walked. I felt like I was on one of my recent runs on my last lap feeling exhaustion at its fullest, yet the only thing keeping me from moving my legs is my mind and uplifting music telling me I can and will go further and finish. I must finish this last cycle, push through, stop complaining, and finish stronger than any race I've ever ran!
I have a new recent hobby development. That's right, another pastime to keep me occupied as I wait patiently for my life to restore itself back to the working full-time pattern. I'm sure most of you have heard about the clever little website called Pinterest that can suck the days out of your life. I'm a newbie to this website, and let me just say, it was made for people like me!! I mean it's pretty darn genius. Something so simple as sharing photos of just ideas via online boards has brought on an even larger desire for me to cook and make everything. Just this week alone I've cooked 4 recipes and made 2 crafts from this life changing website. I do not exagerate when I say its life changing. It has seriously changed my life. Yes, I know this may sound a little pathetic of me, but if you had the chance to try one of these delicious recipes I've discovered on here, would you change your mind?

Keep following! God Bless!

It's a new year, hooray!!

It's 2012, and things are already looking so much brighter!! I've been afmb(away from my blog) for quite some time, I know:( so I have lots and lots to update you all on...so brace yourself! Since my last post Ive had an additional IV treatment which took place the second week of December. I was able to manage the nausea, but the constipation (tmi, I know) is always very uncomfortable. I received the treatment over a five day period, and boasted in excitement as I only had one more treatment to go!! Every week following this treatment I went in for labs, yet either my blood counts were still too low or my liver function was still a little too high or me to start up my last treatment.
Days....weeks...one month later, and I still have not received my last treatment. I'm not complaining, yet part of me jut wants to get it done and over with already. Two days ago my doctor said to me that if my liver function was still high and not progressing back to normal as quick as she'd like that she would just cancel my last IV treatment and just have me start on the oral chemo next month. I've been anxiously waiting for her call as if I was waiting to hear about an important job interview or something. Frankly, I'm pooped with having to be in the hospital so darn much and would just love her to say that my last treatment could just be cut as a late Christmas gift/early birthday gift. So until she calls,I will just be playing the waiting game and of course praying for a pass and go;)
On a different note, holidays were certainly tough without my dad. My family and I spent thanksgiving at my mother in laws house which was a nice change. My sisters and mom were not too enthusiastic about having it at my moms, so Ivan and I took on the hostess with the mostess role lol It went well, yet it was rather quite. Christmas was also rather different. Since Ivan and I didn't get a chance to go to his family's house for thanksgiving we decided to go to his family's for Christmas eve. After all, last year we did the whole split time between two families thing, and it was rather exhausting and rushed. Christmas day we decided to all volunteer at the Modesto gospel mission, which was great! It was certainly nice to share that experience on Christmas with my family. As a family we also decided not to do a gift exchange this year, rather purchase a gift for a needy child instead. My dad was always so giving, and always gave whatever he had to others. We felt we wanted to do something different this year in his honor. I definetly felt his presence though even if he wasn't physically around.
New years eve I stayed in and cooked. Ivan and I went to a raiders game on new years day and tailgated, so Nayra (my sister in law) and I pulled pork all night for the big game. I went back to work at the after school program this past week, and these thriving attitude teenagers are already driving me nuts! But, I try my best to hang in there and teach. I've been applying for other jobs as well. I was hoping I could start going back to work full time once I hear back from my doctor about this last treatment. I haven't had any luck thus far, but I'm sure the right opportunity will come along when it's supposed to. In the meantime, Ive been keeping myself occupied with my usual hobbies. I've even started running...yes running if you can believe it or not. Back in November I started taking our dog for walks, and trying to jog just a little. I've been going just a little further every time. The first time I was barely able to walk half of a mile, and now im almost at 4 miles jogging straight without stopping!! My sister Sovia has even signed up all my sisters and I to take part in the rock and roll marathon in San Diego this June! So, I'm going to do it! I said I was going to run a marathon this year, so I'm gonna do it(well, half that is;))!! My friend Mena has been training with me, which makes it more enjoyable. We push each other through the pain and sweat. I'm so excited, and have been feeling more and more energized since I've started the training.
Also, the wig has (hopefully) officially come off! My hair has managed to grow back just a tad and not fall off with the previous treatments, so I'm trying to get used to the short boy cut. I'm rather tired of the itchy wig after all these months:( hopefully it can manage to at least stay this length through the oral chemo so I don't have to put the raggedy hair nest back on.
Well, I think that's about it. I hope you all had a wonderful and blessed holiday season and have started this new year off healthy and happy! I know I have;) Just living life more fully for today, because we never know about tomorrow!
Keep following! God bless!

2012 will be a much better year!

And so the end of my IV chemo cycles is approaching, and I couldn't feel more happy and blessed that I've made it this far. Im in the hospital once again for the second half of my fifth cycle, and after this cycle is complete I will only have one left! Im sensing the year 2012 will be a much better year for me. Not that this past year wasn't full of positive learning experiences and beautiful God given memories, yet I'm looking forward to the part where I will have to spend less time in a hospital and more time rebuilding my life with the new I have gained through this endeavor. Im excited, dare I say it...to go back to work full time! Yes, I know that must sound weird to most of you out there who are working full time jobs with long days wishing for the slim chance of an upcoming vacation or an opportunity to have at least one day off where you can do absolutely nothing...but let me tell you from experience, it can get boring. And though I have found numerous ways to keep myself occupied while I'm getting my treatments, I almost always wish I was working instead. But who knows, I might wish to be back in this place once I do start working more, we always seem to want what we don't have...
The holidays are coming up quickly, and Im excited to eat all the delicious food! This year is definitely going to be strange without my dad. I think all of my family, especially my mom, are nervous for what the days will feel like with him not present. My sisters and mom have requested we have a change from where we usually have thanksgiving at,( at my moms or sisters) to establish the change. They suggested we have it at Ivan's mom's. I'm up for the change in atmosphere, I'm just hoping we can all hold ourselves together. Just the other day after going to mass with the family we decided to go and eat at la perla tapateia. It's a Mexican food products store that also sells pre cooked dishes. This was one of my dads favorite places to get his menudo fix. As we sat there eating, my sister recalled my dads last meal there, which took place two days before he passed. "He happily had some mole and sat in this spot exactly" my sister recalled. At that moment I couldn't help but remember his laugh and memorable sayings about food. He absolutely loved food, just like me:) I miss him...sooo darn much. Things won't ever be the same without him, and that's difficult to accept at times.
I will most likely be getting out tomorrow! I can not wait! This whole being trapped in a hospital thing every other week is driving me crazy! Keep following and God bless!

Light among darkness

I had my fourth cycle of chemo September 12-15. It was a long working week for me! On the bright side getting infused with chemo everyday for 6 hours allowed me to catch up on my reading;) I've been determined to lay off the junkie t.v. The week went well, by the time Thursday came around I was so ecstatic, I was free! It felt like i was in elementary school again on the last day of school, only in this picture the nurses were the teachers. And they weren't saying see you next year rather "see you on your next cycle!" And like any normal elementary school kid who just started their summer, I wanted the festivities to begin! That Friday a couple of my girlfriends and I had a falafel night. My friend Antonia had made them for me before, and we both thought it would be fun to make a girls night out of it. The crunchy yet moist little things are quite the challenge to make, yet so worth the explosive taste party in your mouth.
Ivan had Monday off so we decided to go on a lunch date. We attempted to feast on as many possible food items with the least amount of money. Since ive been back in Modesto I've been noticing all these new places to dine I had never noticed before. I'm a huge yelper, who likes to research new places to eat and closely looks into the reviews. I guess I am a foodie, you can call it, but not an extreme foodie who has tasted every exotic edible thing in the world. I hope to reach that point one day. Any who, I told Ivan about my aid research about some cheap bites I read about yelp that I wanted to try. He was actually excited about the idea, which is a bit sup rising since he isn't always in the "mood" to try new foods. He is far from being a foodie like me, yet I have gotten him to expand his taste pallet just a tad since we have been together. I like to take credit for the new cuisine he has tried and enjoyed:) Our Monday lunch date concluded with us eating: 1 Vietnamese saigon sandwich, 5 baby egg rolls, 2 cheesecake cupcakes, and 1 piña colada snow cone all for 10 dollars. We felt quite accomplished by our savings, never the less more by how much we indulged in. I guess Modesto has some secret food gems after all...
Its been two weeks since, and I still have not published this post. I ended up getting a fever two days later that required me to go into the emergency room. I was feeling terribly achey and shivering with chills. I assumed it was another infection, and sure enough I was right:( I was started on antibiotics right away. My fevers continued through the weekend even with receiving the antibiotics. I was beginning to worry considering last time I as stuck in the hospital with ecoli, I was able to recover within 5 days. My counts ( white blood cell) were not rising very much or at all. After 5 days my oncologist called me and explained to me that the chemo I had the previous week was a really strong dosage that was going to result in a longer time for me to recuperate from. She stated that most patients take an average of 20 days for their bodies WBC to recuperate and for infections to diminish. I was completely saddened by this news considering I hate being hospitalized. The rest of my stay dragged on. I was given a total of 2 blood transfusions and 4 platelet transfusions during my stay. This time around I also developed several mouth sores that made it difficult for me to each much due to the pain. I was stuck eating applesauce, jellos, soups, and fruit cups for most of my stay until the sores healed.
Thankfully, my body kicked in and I was surprisingly released on Saturday after 10 days of being enclosed in despair. My friend Vhantelle and her husband came to visit me as a surprise from La, which was a wonderful surprise. Although I was instructed by my doctor not to go to any public areas and stay inside, I enjoyed catching up with my friends. I felt completely exhausted on Sunday. I didn't make it out of bed much, except to eat three meals. The rest of the week was spent rather the same. Sleeping, eating, sleeping. I couldn't bring myself to do much more. The only time I left the house was to attend to blood draw appointments I had all week. My counts were still under normal level, so any time I left our room I had to be wearing a mask for my protection. I hate being in isolation and not being able to enjoy the outside world. A few nights that week I found myself crying in sadness and anger, thinking how unfair it was that I had to be trapped inside for so long. Thoughts of how badly I wished I was living my old life before I was diagnosed came flushing through my mind. Wishing things were just different." I hate these treatments!" is all I kept feeling. Just as I try and make my life a little more normal by going back to work and making myself useful, it all gets yielded by this terrible illness. It's not fair, yet I can't do anything to change it but keep going.
By the end of the week my counts finally restored back to normal. And as I celebrated by going outside finally with no mask to a movie, I couldn't help but think I would soon be back in that sad trapped place again within the next few weeks for another dreadful treatment. As much as I'm happy I'm feeling stronger with my engery back I can't help but dread the feeling of it being taking away again, leaving me to the difficult battle of getting it back. Im two chemo cycles away from starting oral chemo(which I hope will be more mangle) yet the finish line seems just so far away still. I wish I could just close my eyes and open them back up to it being all over. But I can't. I have to move forward. I know there is still much to learn from all this. God continues to reveal new things to me even through all my pain, anger, sadness and darkness. For one, that he's been present in my darkest moments, and will always lead me out to the light. I know this because as I lied in my bed in sadness this past week not wanting to write/blog out of anger and sadness I'm writing now...out of the darkness and once again in
the light. I've been lead out once again, and Im sure God will continue leading me out through not only my next 2 cycles of chemo, but until I'm completely done fighting this illness. I just know it.