Could it be a miracle?! Great, great, great news everyone!!! The biopsy results showed that my bone marrow is completely free of leukemia cells!!!!! Like completely free, zip, zero, NADA!! (when the biopsy was first done my bone marrow was 90% leukemia) As my oncologist gave us this news she grabbed my hands in complete excitement and enthusiasm. Ivan, my sister Sovia, and I all gave each other high fives and gleed in ultimate happiness!! It's just soooo unbelievable!! But it's all to you out there who are praying, sending me your thoughts, positive energy, and support!! The battle is not complete though....even though I feel I can breath and see that finish line ahead of me!! I will continue the rest of the protocol treatment through day 28. I will have another biopsy done on day 28 which will hopefully show reproduction of good normal bone marrow and no sign of leukemia cell reproduction....so please keep praying and keep sending me all your great energy because you are all helping me continue kicking this thing in the butt!!!
With that awesome news said, today was another great day! I wake up in excitement to live another day, to get going and moving! Today I managed to take 4 walks accumulating 12 times around the floor, the most yet!! A man that's always in the lobby has started to call me" the marathon runner!" haha it's quite hilarious! He's always commenting something new about me being out on the floor, sometimes creepy, but funny! Even my sister Sovia broke out a sweat walking with me today! Lol But I must rebuild my strength little by little. My calves are completely drooping! They remind me of my childhood bus driver Tiny, and the way her arms used to flap when she would wave us down for standing up in the back of the bus :)
I even showered today people! It's no longer every 3 days anymore, it's every other!!! Seriously,these once minor things I could do so easily, are major accomplishments for me!;) I probably shampood and conditioned my hair for the last time today until it grows back too!!! I will definitely be saving some money on hair products for awhile, yes! After I got out of the shower I had a huge knot in my hair. I decided there was no point in brushing it out, so my sis gave me a new hair cut!! I now sport a temporary I guess you could call.. bob cut;) it's quite funny looking I might say, I'll try and post a pic for your entertainment!
Tonight should be a good night. Going to hang out with my sister Sovia and Ivan, make some more crafts and do some reading. I just feel so happy, alive, and so thankful you all out there are cheering for me! God is truly listening to you all, and I can't even express how incredibly thankful I am!! :)
Go out and celebrate for me today! Celebrate the power of people coming together for a cause! It's sooooo powerful!! Cheers;)
Love you all!!
Monday, April 18, 2011
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Day 17 cont-Hooray for my very first home cooked meal!
My WBC is at a 2.0!! Hooray! Today's day started off with one of my favorite foods...a bagel with cream cheese!! Gosh I love cream cheese so much! I specifically asked to meet with the nutritionist yesterday because Ive been on a restricted diet, and I thought she said no dairy products, yet they have been giving me cartons of milk for breakfast so I decided to ask. I asked her about two specific things I have been dieing to eat...cream cheese and ice cream?? She said as long as the dairy products were pasteurized it was fine!! Do you know how crazy happy I was to hear this news?! If you know me well you know that cream cheese and ice cream are always in my fridge! I eat cream cheese with everything, and can eat ice cream everyday. So this morning Ivan went out and got me my "pregnant" cravings! A bagel with cream cheese has never tasted sooo good:)
I spent my day very relaxed. Ivan and I caught up on some Greys Anatomy, I did some walking, in my shoes, and read. Ivan purchased me a copy of "chicken soup for the cancer soul" which has been really good for me. It's nice to read about other cancer patients and how they felt and coped during their treatments. I slept in the afternoon which was much needed. It's part of my routinewonw since I can't get much rest during the night or morning. Its perhaps the only time the nurses or CNA s are not coming in.
Later in the evening I was visited by my friend Ellese (and her roommate Eli) who I went to SF state with. Her and I were both in the same teaching credential program. I hadn't seen her since my wedding, and she was visiting her family in Ontario and decided to stop by:) she brought me my very first home cooked meal!! It's been almost four weeks since I've had something home cooked! I miss REAL food! Her family had a carne asada just before she came so she brought me carne asada, arroz, frijoles, corn on the cob, and steamed veggies:) it was incredibly delicious! I felt my stomach speak to me and say "now this is real food, all the other stuff you have been putting in me has been crap!" Its completely true though. I was never one to eat out much, but I dont really have a choice here. It's either eat mashed potatoes and macaroni and cheese they serve me everyday or have Ivan go get me something to eat. So....I mostly make Ivan go get me something different to eat;) I have major detoxing to do to my body once I get out of here...major! Any who, catching up with Ellese was so great! We talked about teaching mostly of course;) And her plans for moving back to LA in May. To my dear friend Ellese, Thank you for my very first home cooked meal!! My stomach really appreciates it! And thank you for your visit!!
Tomorrow is a BIG day! I will be getting the results from the biopsy that will tell us how effective the treatment has been! I feel so much better and stronger, so I'm hoping that's a good sign! Keep the results in your prayers! Tomorrow is also the day I'll probably start wearing a banddana. I'm beginning to develop a large bald spot on my head...and Ivan has taken the liberty to nickname me"mi peludita." I'm not sure how I feel about that one yet....any who, as weird as I look, the nurse assured me today "hair will always grow back, but you can't grow back your life." So with that said, I will gladly take my life with a bald head, thank you;) ;)
Love you all, God Bless!
I spent my day very relaxed. Ivan and I caught up on some Greys Anatomy, I did some walking, in my shoes, and read. Ivan purchased me a copy of "chicken soup for the cancer soul" which has been really good for me. It's nice to read about other cancer patients and how they felt and coped during their treatments. I slept in the afternoon which was much needed. It's part of my routinewonw since I can't get much rest during the night or morning. Its perhaps the only time the nurses or CNA s are not coming in.
Later in the evening I was visited by my friend Ellese (and her roommate Eli) who I went to SF state with. Her and I were both in the same teaching credential program. I hadn't seen her since my wedding, and she was visiting her family in Ontario and decided to stop by:) she brought me my very first home cooked meal!! It's been almost four weeks since I've had something home cooked! I miss REAL food! Her family had a carne asada just before she came so she brought me carne asada, arroz, frijoles, corn on the cob, and steamed veggies:) it was incredibly delicious! I felt my stomach speak to me and say "now this is real food, all the other stuff you have been putting in me has been crap!" Its completely true though. I was never one to eat out much, but I dont really have a choice here. It's either eat mashed potatoes and macaroni and cheese they serve me everyday or have Ivan go get me something to eat. So....I mostly make Ivan go get me something different to eat;) I have major detoxing to do to my body once I get out of here...major! Any who, catching up with Ellese was so great! We talked about teaching mostly of course;) And her plans for moving back to LA in May. To my dear friend Ellese, Thank you for my very first home cooked meal!! My stomach really appreciates it! And thank you for your visit!!
Tomorrow is a BIG day! I will be getting the results from the biopsy that will tell us how effective the treatment has been! I feel so much better and stronger, so I'm hoping that's a good sign! Keep the results in your prayers! Tomorrow is also the day I'll probably start wearing a banddana. I'm beginning to develop a large bald spot on my head...and Ivan has taken the liberty to nickname me"mi peludita." I'm not sure how I feel about that one yet....any who, as weird as I look, the nurse assured me today "hair will always grow back, but you can't grow back your life." So with that said, I will gladly take my life with a bald head, thank you;) ;)
Love you all, God Bless!
Day 17-The canister must come out!
Where do we keep our faith in God everyday? After doing some much needed listening yesterday I woke up this morning with this exact question in my head. I couldn't help but envision my faith in a nicely colored food canister above our fridge marked"for emergencies ONLY!" I could barley see it of course because gathered all in front of that canister was my cereal, coffee, bread, work, family, husband, friends....How is it I thought to myself that the most useful thing up there only comes out when I truly need it. When it's convenient for me. When I'm desperate, when I have no other freakin clue of what to do. It's not that I don't have faith, but why isnt that canister out in the open, everyday, at the most inconvenient times I asked myself. Having complete faith means having it when it is the most inconvenient time. I shouldn't just open that canister when I need something. I should be going to that canister everyday asking myself "what do you need me to do? How can I serve, how can I make today about you to show you I have complete faith, and make it inconvenient for me please."
I know some people don't believe in anything greater. But in life's encounters like this one im in, it's hard not to. That tingly feeling you get that gives you strength, drive, and positive energy to surpass anything in life, that's gotta be someone! Whoever it might be for you, that someone or something gives us faith. I'm taking that sticky label off that canister when I get home. Going to place it in the middle of our apartment for everyone to see. It's going to be completely open and labeled differently "Use all day, when most inconvenient."
I know some people don't believe in anything greater. But in life's encounters like this one im in, it's hard not to. That tingly feeling you get that gives you strength, drive, and positive energy to surpass anything in life, that's gotta be someone! Whoever it might be for you, that someone or something gives us faith. I'm taking that sticky label off that canister when I get home. Going to place it in the middle of our apartment for everyone to see. It's going to be completely open and labeled differently "Use all day, when most inconvenient."
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Day 16-I'm wearing shoes!!
Today's goals:
1.walk 4 times
2. Paint
3. Make thank you cards
4. Try and wear shoes
5. Stretch 3 times
6. Eat three good meals
Check, check, check, check, check, and check!!
I feel stronger! This morning my doctor came in and said my white blood cell count was at a 1.5! It's progressing which is an excellent sign! He said if my counts continue to rise people won't need to wear a mask anymore!! Ivan was exceptionally excited about that one:)
This morning after breakfast I spent some time alone. I did something we all too often forget to do, listen. As I sat up in my bed in prayer, and just listened I heard something. I heard God tell me this "you are going to be ok, I just wanted to shake Patty up a bit and let you know I am present if you ever doubted. Your faith and hunger for me were too complacent, so rise, and know I've been here!" I looked up at the image of our father my friend Diana brought me, and I kid you not I saw him smile as he spoke this to me. It was as if he was almost laughing in a sense. I couldn't help but laugh after that moment and think to myself"he's completely right!" Where had my faith and hunger for him gone? Never have I once stopped believing, but where had my priority for his grace gone? Too be honest I wasn't even thinking of him much at all. What had happened? Life....
When Ivan returned from his errand I spoke to him about what I had heard. We had a long conversation about how we both had strayed from our faith that once brought us together. We had been missing church, not involving ourselves in a church community, or praying regularly. I told him I felt God was using this time to wake both of our faiths from their complacency. Ivan explained to me he was still feeling puzzlement as to why this was happening and having a hard time taking prayer seriously. Hearing Ivan say this to me was so raw. I had no idea he had these feelings. But the truth is, we still really don't know what God wants us to fully learn from this experience yet. The journey isn't over yet, just beginning. God is always trying to teach us something. Sometimes we feel we know why he's doing it, yet other times it can make absolute NO SENSE! But eventually things will start making more sense. And eventually I know God will bring Ivan some sense into all this, I just know!
I had a wonderful rest of the day after Ivan and I's conversation! Ivan had a day out with Brandon (Mena's boyfriend) while Mena and I had a girl day! We had a little afternoon nap together, painted, made thank you cards and just hung out! After dinner I did something I hadn't done in three entire weeks....I put on a pair of shoes!!! It was such a strange feeling, but felt so great! I made my way out with Mena for my walk and felt so empowered! The shoes gave me the ability to start taking normal steps, and normal I felt! As I made my way around the floor three times I would turn to Mena every so often and tell her "I feel so strong!" I felt ME!
Mena parted with Brandon not too long ago:( I miss her already! But as I hugged her good bye I assured her I would be home soon:) My hunny is here with me now:) Were going to have a Saturday movie date night! (I can't wait to go to a real movie theatre and eat buttery popcorn!! Mmmmm... ) We may not be on our little brown couch at our apartment, but I can honestly say just sitting next to him makes me feel like I am home.
Here's to another day, here's to listening, and here's to shoes!! Love you all and keep praying! :)
P.S. CAUTION TMI: I took a poop today that smelled like....poop!! I have never been so happy to smell poop before, but it just made me feel that much more normal...I'm turning back into myself!! Yay!!
1.walk 4 times
2. Paint
3. Make thank you cards
4. Try and wear shoes
5. Stretch 3 times
6. Eat three good meals
Check, check, check, check, check, and check!!
I feel stronger! This morning my doctor came in and said my white blood cell count was at a 1.5! It's progressing which is an excellent sign! He said if my counts continue to rise people won't need to wear a mask anymore!! Ivan was exceptionally excited about that one:)
This morning after breakfast I spent some time alone. I did something we all too often forget to do, listen. As I sat up in my bed in prayer, and just listened I heard something. I heard God tell me this "you are going to be ok, I just wanted to shake Patty up a bit and let you know I am present if you ever doubted. Your faith and hunger for me were too complacent, so rise, and know I've been here!" I looked up at the image of our father my friend Diana brought me, and I kid you not I saw him smile as he spoke this to me. It was as if he was almost laughing in a sense. I couldn't help but laugh after that moment and think to myself"he's completely right!" Where had my faith and hunger for him gone? Never have I once stopped believing, but where had my priority for his grace gone? Too be honest I wasn't even thinking of him much at all. What had happened? Life....
When Ivan returned from his errand I spoke to him about what I had heard. We had a long conversation about how we both had strayed from our faith that once brought us together. We had been missing church, not involving ourselves in a church community, or praying regularly. I told him I felt God was using this time to wake both of our faiths from their complacency. Ivan explained to me he was still feeling puzzlement as to why this was happening and having a hard time taking prayer seriously. Hearing Ivan say this to me was so raw. I had no idea he had these feelings. But the truth is, we still really don't know what God wants us to fully learn from this experience yet. The journey isn't over yet, just beginning. God is always trying to teach us something. Sometimes we feel we know why he's doing it, yet other times it can make absolute NO SENSE! But eventually things will start making more sense. And eventually I know God will bring Ivan some sense into all this, I just know!
I had a wonderful rest of the day after Ivan and I's conversation! Ivan had a day out with Brandon (Mena's boyfriend) while Mena and I had a girl day! We had a little afternoon nap together, painted, made thank you cards and just hung out! After dinner I did something I hadn't done in three entire weeks....I put on a pair of shoes!!! It was such a strange feeling, but felt so great! I made my way out with Mena for my walk and felt so empowered! The shoes gave me the ability to start taking normal steps, and normal I felt! As I made my way around the floor three times I would turn to Mena every so often and tell her "I feel so strong!" I felt ME!
Mena parted with Brandon not too long ago:( I miss her already! But as I hugged her good bye I assured her I would be home soon:) My hunny is here with me now:) Were going to have a Saturday movie date night! (I can't wait to go to a real movie theatre and eat buttery popcorn!! Mmmmm... ) We may not be on our little brown couch at our apartment, but I can honestly say just sitting next to him makes me feel like I am home.
Here's to another day, here's to listening, and here's to shoes!! Love you all and keep praying! :)
P.S. CAUTION TMI: I took a poop today that smelled like....poop!! I have never been so happy to smell poop before, but it just made me feel that much more normal...I'm turning back into myself!! Yay!!
Happy birthday Alyssa!!
To my lovely friend Alyssa!! You have been so so good to me during this journey of mine! Although you are not here your support and love is felt by me everyday!! Andy you got a great wife to be!! Hope you had an amazing birthday, one you truly deserve!! Like I said to you yesterday, we got some celebrating to make up as soon as I'm outta here!!
Looking forward to seeing you next weekend!! Love and miss you!! Happy birthday!!
Looking forward to seeing you next weekend!! Love and miss you!! Happy birthday!!
Friday, April 15, 2011
Day 15-it's like living in another body for a temporary time...
Last night I didn't get much sleep :( My lower back was incredibly sore from the biopsy, and my neck and shoulders have been rather achey as well. One of the side affects of the treatment is night sweats and chills. I find myself waking up every few hours feeling like I'm in a bath of my own sweat. So I flip my pillow over to let it dry out. Its been a struggle trying to teach myself to go back to bed after getting woken up. I feel I'm getting used to it somedays, but other days it's just so hard to fall back asleep. This morning I awoke rather grumpy. After the achey back pains and perfusivly sweaty night, I just wanted to sleep! I eventually managed to get out of my pool, make my goals for the day and crunch on a new kind of breakfast. My sister Hilda brought me some cinnamon toast crunch cereal which I happily ate two bowls of :) After breakfast I felt a lot better and made my way around the floor three times! After lunch I made it around my floor some more times around. These past few days I've felt better I've been putting to use with more walking to avoid my muscles from tensing up so much. I felt completely exhausted after the walk and managed to finally get some sleep afterwards. It's just so weird because sleep here doesn't feel like sleep. Ivan said I was sleeping for 2hrs, but to me, I wasn't even aware I had fallen asleep...
One of the biggest challenges on my list of goals today was shower. Today was perhaps the easiest time I've had with that one thankfully! I was beginning to dread the nauseating, tired, and weak feeling I get afterwards. Mounds of hair streamed out as I attempted to shampoo and condition. I got this feeling I was having a good bye ceremony for my hair as I watched the thick brown wavy strands compile into a large almost"dirt mound" looking thing. As I stared down at all the hair I felt like I was becoming a new person, saying good bye to an old me and hello to a new Patty, one with better hair I'm hoping:)( I was never really attached to my hair, infact I'm hoping it grows back nicer since I would always complain about my crazy frizz.)
As I stepped out of the shower I had this thought. Being in this hospital and undergoing all this treatment makes me feel like I'm living in someone else's body temporarily. It's as if I completely unzipped myself out of my own self and just simply stepped into another, just like that! This body is different though... weaker. It's a strange feeling trying to adjust to a new body you don't know. It's like you don't recognize yourself...but I'm hoping it's only a matter of time. I'm hoping that I will soon be able to just simply unzip myself out of this strange thing and jump right back into my old body once more!
My beautiful friend Mena arrived not too long ago!! My heart smiled as she came into the room. Seeing her made me feel like I wasn't here in this hospital, like she just came over our apartment to hang out. She will be by nurse/roommate for the night. Dr.Ivan has trained her in her nightly responsibilities:) My mom and sister left back for Modesto today:( it was so great to have them here, I can't wait to see them again. I can't wait for tomorrow! Mena and I will be having an art day!! I have painting and more crafts in mind, and she's just the right gal to do them with! It's so great to have her here....so I'm off to spend time with my girl! Sending you all lots of love! Thank God for another clean day of less pain!! Hoping for more...
Keep following!
One of the biggest challenges on my list of goals today was shower. Today was perhaps the easiest time I've had with that one thankfully! I was beginning to dread the nauseating, tired, and weak feeling I get afterwards. Mounds of hair streamed out as I attempted to shampoo and condition. I got this feeling I was having a good bye ceremony for my hair as I watched the thick brown wavy strands compile into a large almost"dirt mound" looking thing. As I stared down at all the hair I felt like I was becoming a new person, saying good bye to an old me and hello to a new Patty, one with better hair I'm hoping:)( I was never really attached to my hair, infact I'm hoping it grows back nicer since I would always complain about my crazy frizz.)
As I stepped out of the shower I had this thought. Being in this hospital and undergoing all this treatment makes me feel like I'm living in someone else's body temporarily. It's as if I completely unzipped myself out of my own self and just simply stepped into another, just like that! This body is different though... weaker. It's a strange feeling trying to adjust to a new body you don't know. It's like you don't recognize yourself...but I'm hoping it's only a matter of time. I'm hoping that I will soon be able to just simply unzip myself out of this strange thing and jump right back into my old body once more!
My beautiful friend Mena arrived not too long ago!! My heart smiled as she came into the room. Seeing her made me feel like I wasn't here in this hospital, like she just came over our apartment to hang out. She will be by nurse/roommate for the night. Dr.Ivan has trained her in her nightly responsibilities:) My mom and sister left back for Modesto today:( it was so great to have them here, I can't wait to see them again. I can't wait for tomorrow! Mena and I will be having an art day!! I have painting and more crafts in mind, and she's just the right gal to do them with! It's so great to have her here....so I'm off to spend time with my girl! Sending you all lots of love! Thank God for another clean day of less pain!! Hoping for more...
Keep following!
Hairflower!!!
I hope you guys enjoy my sunfllower.... yes that is my hair in the middle, I mean why let it go to waste?? Ivan says it will be out of the room today because it has a bunch of shit in it, and it will contaminate the room....he's being lame!
Enjoy!!... more crafts to come... :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)