1.walk 4 times
3. Make thank you cards
4. Try and wear shoes
5. Stretch 3 times
6. Eat three good meals
Check, check, check, check, check, and check!!
I feel stronger! This morning my doctor came in and said my white blood cell count was at a 1.5! It's progressing which is an excellent sign! He said if my counts continue to rise people won't need to wear a mask anymore!! Ivan was exceptionally excited about that one:)
This morning after breakfast I spent some time alone. I did something we all too often forget to do, listen. As I sat up in my bed in prayer, and just listened I heard something. I heard God tell me this "you are going to be ok, I just wanted to shake Patty up a bit and let you know I am present if you ever doubted. Your faith and hunger for me were too complacent, so rise, and know I've been here!" I looked up at the image of our father my friend Diana brought me, and I kid you not I saw him smile as he spoke this to me. It was as if he was almost laughing in a sense. I couldn't help but laugh after that moment and think to myself"he's completely right!" Where had my faith and hunger for him gone? Never have I once stopped believing, but where had my priority for his grace gone? Too be honest I wasn't even thinking of him much at all. What had happened? Life....
When Ivan returned from his errand I spoke to him about what I had heard. We had a long conversation about how we both had strayed from our faith that once brought us together. We had been missing church, not involving ourselves in a church community, or praying regularly. I told him I felt God was using this time to wake both of our faiths from their complacency. Ivan explained to me he was still feeling puzzlement as to why this was happening and having a hard time taking prayer seriously. Hearing Ivan say this to me was so raw. I had no idea he had these feelings. But the truth is, we still really don't know what God wants us to fully learn from this experience yet. The journey isn't over yet, just beginning. God is always trying to teach us something. Sometimes we feel we know why he's doing it, yet other times it can make absolute NO SENSE! But eventually things will start making more sense. And eventually I know God will bring Ivan some sense into all this, I just know!
I had a wonderful rest of the day after Ivan and I's conversation! Ivan had a day out with Brandon (Mena's boyfriend) while Mena and I had a girl day! We had a little afternoon nap together, painted, made thank you cards and just hung out! After dinner I did something I hadn't done in three entire weeks....I put on a pair of shoes!!! It was such a strange feeling, but felt so great! I made my way out with Mena for my walk and felt so empowered! The shoes gave me the ability to start taking normal steps, and normal I felt! As I made my way around the floor three times I would turn to Mena every so often and tell her "I feel so strong!" I felt ME!
Mena parted with Brandon not too long ago:( I miss her already! But as I hugged her good bye I assured her I would be home soon:) My hunny is here with me now:) Were going to have a Saturday movie date night! (I can't wait to go to a real movie theatre and eat buttery popcorn!! Mmmmm... ) We may not be on our little brown couch at our apartment, but I can honestly say just sitting next to him makes me feel like I am home.
Here's to another day, here's to listening, and here's to shoes!! Love you all and keep praying! :)
P.S. CAUTION TMI: I took a poop today that smelled like....poop!! I have never been so happy to smell poop before, but it just made me feel that much more normal...I'm turning back into myself!! Yay!!