Saturday, April 30, 2011

Day 29-Is it possible for me to sleep standing up?

I have a new it possible that I got run over by a large diesel, managed to stay alive, lied there for awhile unconscious, and now suffer from the pain all over my body? I feel bruised, everywhere, yet I'm not freaking purple! What the heck is going on here people, I should be looking like Barney the way I feel! I sleep on my back and it hurts. I sleep on my stomach and it hurts. On my side...guess? Tylenol are you kidding me! Can you do your job! Like seriously, you went to college and received a degree in alleviation, so go on and perform your duties pronto! I felt like a crazy sleepwalker all night. Getting up every hour to stretch and wander back and forth a few steps...I probably resembled a crazy nut in a mental institution...heck I am a crazy nut because I want to invent some kind of device where I can sleep standing up. Better yet, I've got it! Tape me to the wall! Its absolutely genious and affordable! Alright no one take my idea, I've officially pattened it! I will call this new invention of mine "sleep standing." So creative! And the slogan of course...."who says you have to lie?"
If people walk by and ask " why is she sleeping standing up?" Please, kindly place this sign next to me "can you not see I'm sleeping!"

And another thing. The question "how are you?" is now somewhat offensive to me...I mean seriously do you even need to ask? But if you are really interested i would be more than happy to print out that long long receipt for you to tell you...and at the end it will read"how do you think?"

Gosh this cancer thing is really turning me into a.....( you fill in the blank);)


  1. Hahaha patty your last line was classic! And yah dude if I felt like a purple bruse all night I'd be on a rant as well!!

  2. Hi there honey ask your doctor to get what I call a foam rubber egg crate it helps take the pressure off maybe this would give u a little relief also I went next door to neighbor that is Modesto kaiser doctor he gave me the names of two oncologists at kaiser here in Modesto he said these would be ones he would use for his own family if need be his name is dr Brian Bigalow he is head of Obgyn and he recommends two oncologists are Dr Belinda Ark and Dr Tomika. Let me know if egg crate helps. Love nana

  3. Velcro jump messy adhesive

  4. Haha oh pattypoo . We still love you:) steven says you're small enough to tack on the wall! Great invention well take One for Audrey

  5. Linda, we got an apt. with Belinda ark! Thanks for the suggestion!

    Tom, that's an awesome idea!

    Teresa, haha I'm just picturing Audrey tacked to the wall and it makes me laugh!!

    Mena, you didn't fill in the blank? ;)