Monday, April 11, 2011

Day 11-An emotional ride

I woke up this morning feeling energized, happy, and ready for the day. Although I couldn't sleep last night, writing gave me a rush of enthusiasm to get my day going. Breakfast was ok this morning. I drank my nutrious shake and ate a blueberry muffin. I've been getting drowsy and get minor headaches after I eat, it's the strangest thing. The doctor assured me they are normal side affects. Still, I make my greatest attempts to stay sitting up after I eat to allow my body to digest and avoid heartburn. I went out for a morning stroll with my mama after breakfast. She was surprised to see I made it around the floor three entire times! I think it was the music I brought along with me. I popped in my headphones and used the music to pump myself up. It was like getting ready for a workout. It worked, so much that I used the music to pump me up and managed to take two other walks during the day. Once before dinner, and another time after.
For lunch I ate a delicious chipotle burrito:) although I missed having the luxury of eating it with sour cream, guacamole, and salsa. Still, I thought to myself, be thankful you can still eat. I rested some during the afternoon, but made sure Ivan awoke me to watch the Ellen show. I love Ellen, I want to write to her and just tell her how much she makes me laugh, and just how much her humor has helped me during this time...
It wasn't until after dinner, when I started to miss home. I don't know if it was the frustration of not liking my dinner or what, but I had an emotional breakdown. There I lied, asking Ivan to lay beside me as I cried on his shoulder. I don't know what came over me, but all I kept thinking about was Ivan and I's small little brown couch we both barley even fit on, and how I just wanted to be home. I would get so frustrated sometimes trying to cuddle up with Ivan and be comfortable on our mini love seat and complain we should get a bigger couch, and now that's exactly what I wanted. I wanted to be cramped up tightly on our hand me down mini couch in the most uncomfortable twisted position ever, next to my boo. I laid there for awhile, with my hand wrapped tightly in his and just let it all out. Ivan comforted me by saying I didn't have to hold it in, and it was ok to feel this way. I attempted to sketch, put on some music, and tried to think of happy thoughts, but instead I just lied there while gushes of tears rolled down my face I asked God to bring me some peace.
After some time I was brought that peace. I picked myself up and said to myself "I'm in control," and went for a walk with Ivan two times around the floor, all while playing some of our favorite tunes to keep my spirits up. When we returned from our walk I called my pal Suzy. I knew she would find a way to make me smile and come right over. She brought me some pizza, which I happily ate, even though it was already 9pm. Of course I got a stomach ache after, but it was so worth the taste;) I'm thankful for that girl so so much. I told her when I get out I'm going to owe her a million favors. My hubby wubby is staying with me tonight, and my mom will be staying at Suzy's. I've missed having him here at night beside me since it's been two days...So there it is my friends, my roller coaster ride for today. Its been quite distinct everyday. And although I shed some much needed tears, its ok, in the end I'm just thankful I didn't need a barf bag when I got off, just some good pizza and a good friend (Suzy Q).

Here's to another ride tomorrow!! Keep praying! Also, I would love to hear from you all that are following!! If you are reading, comment; I love replying!! Love you all!


  1. Hope you are feeling good today. Keep up the spirit.

  2. Aww, Patty. you got yourself a good hubby and a good Suzy. Thanks for sharing so much of yourself with us--the funny stories and sad moments. You are beautiful. :)

  3. Yes I do Jonalisa, praise God for that!! Glad you are reading, and I know I can give TMI sometimes, but I feel very vulnerable which has helped me honestly accept it all.
    Thanks again for your visit(Giana too!), it was wonderful seeing you! Btw, those flautas were sooooo yummy! Great pick;)

  4. Just to let you know I emailed the Ellen show last night to her know all about our miss patty and I will continue to do this nightly hopefully you will hear from her personally because every little boost you get helps so here is to you our precious miss patty we will all say lots of prayers for you every single day again with all our love nana kk Bella and Lisa type at you soon