Monday, May 30, 2011

This is the new normal

I got a call Friday morning from one of the nurses telling me my labs showed my white blood count was very low at 1.8 and I would need to come in for extra blood tests Saturday and Monday. Just like that my weekend plans changed and had to revolve around my white blood cell count. I was prepped for admitting on Saturday after getting my blood drawn just in case the results revealed me needing a blood transfusion. I lingered around all day Saturday waiting for the call, but never received one assuming it meant I didn't need any blood. It was like waiting around for your work to call you about going in for a shift. So I ended up having the day off;) White blood cell count below a 4 means me having to wear a mask out in the world. I don't mind getting crazy stares from people at stores so much as the same hot breath I have to breath for a long period of time. I understand why everyone hated to wear the masks in the hospital now!! Itmurky turn to smell my stinky breath over and over sue!;) But the mask must be worn, and I just have to get used to it. It's just another thing to get used to. Two weeks ago I was at the relay for life and saw an old friend, Michelle. Her mom had recently fought breast cancer. We talked about the difficulties she had and how it was for her and her family. It was nice to hear someone else's story. Michelle told me something one of the speakers said in her speech that really stuck with me. The cancer survivor said she made her life with cancer the new normal...this is my new normal. Wearing a mask out in the world is normal, taking 10+ plus a day is normal, being bald is normal, visiting the hospital 3-5 times a week is normal. This is my life now, this is my normal. I've accepted this new normal of mine. And although it's only temporary, or maybe not, im so happy with life right now! I have such an amazing family and friends around me that have allowed this new"normal" to feel normal. There are still new life changes I must adjust to, but with just a little more time my new life will feel completely normal.

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