I woke up this morning in a pool of my own hair, swam in it for some time, then nicely balled it into something pretty you all can look at;) Ivan would always complain about the massive "cat size" hair balls he would pull out of our tub, but these hair balls have absolutely nothing on those! If those were cats these are "LIONS!"
As I floated in my pool of hair I had a realization. I realized something I guess I hadn't really said aloud since I've been here, "I'm fighting for my life!?" "I'm fighting for MY life?!" I mean we fight for our lives everyday in a sense. We try and keep ourselves safe, keep our bodies healthy and avoid dangerous places right? But I'm competing against this sickness, and the grand prize is my life! Do I want this prize? Heck yes I want it!! I want it more than anything! I love life, it's incredible!!! I also thought a scary thing to myself. What if God wanted me to be with him instead of here on earth. I pondered that for some time yet felt peace. I don't feel scared. I've had an amazing life thus far! Ive accomplished almost everything I've ever wanted before the age of 23, I have no regrets. Is this crazy of me to want to continue living, breathing, and enjoying life yet also feel at ease/peace if I was chosen to leave? I fully trust in God's plan, I know he's got it all figured out....o that man up there, he's quite the character, but you gotta love him!!
Time for breakfast. Going to make sure I got a nice full tummy to give me strength to face the drill!! This time I will be popping in a headphone so I can listen to some enjoyable tunes instead of that loud rackety thing! Wish me well, I'll post you all updates afterwards! And do me a favor all today, do something you've never done in your life today....something crazy, spontaneous, and extraordinary( just stay safe;))!!!
Love you all!!
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Patty,
ReplyDeleteYour such an inspiration it is so amazing the outlook you have on this bump in the road God has throw at you and that all it is a bump in the road.. You are so strong just like Hilda, your mom has to be one of the most amazing people to have raised both of you! Keep your head up and stay strong because in a short time all of this will be over and you will come out on top and beat this horrible thing called cancer! I'm so happy I finally got to meet you! Let me know if you need anything I'm just a short drive away!
"for me life is continuously being hungry. The meaning of life is not simply to eddies, to survive, but to move ahead, to go up, achieve, to conquer" - Arnold Schwarzenegger
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ReplyDeletePatty, There is no what if? You are not done here yet. Yes, God does have a plan, maybe you are supposed to do something special with this experience. :) Sorry you are loosing your hair, but the good news is when it grows back it will come back curley! no more perms for you!!
ReplyDeletePraying for your recovery Madre Anchondo
cancer is a word, not a sentence
ReplyDeleteJohn Diamond
thanks for calling to chat with me yesterday. I really wish I could be there with you everyday, but know that I am thinking of you constantly. After our chat last night I woke up with positive thoughts like we talked about and had a good day, overall. glad to hear you had a good day today, too.
stay golden pony boy :)
Kayla, Thank you sooo much Kayla! I've heard so much good stuff about you from my sis, and it was sooo nice to finally meet you!! Thank you for your honest and sincere words! This is truly a bump, just a bump to get over:) I love that quote, so uplifting that you for that!! Hope to see you again! (Hilda is here now:))
ReplyDeleteMadre, I love you sooo much!! God does have a plan, and I'm trying to prepare for anything! Open to it all! Don't worry about the pelo it doesnt really bother me, it will grow back in time. Ivan is excited, he wants a blonde...what do you think?? Love you Madre!!
Rosie, glad you had a great and positive day, that's the way to live everyday!! Think positive energy and thoughts, "YOU" are in control! Make yourself think of what you want to do and envision the sweet feeling you get at the end, that's what will keep your eyes on the prize;) thinking of you all day everyday too hermanita! Can't wait to see you! Have a positive day!